Something About Pirates
by Imogen Penn
Summary: Sometimes something good comes from very bizarre beginnings...like puffy pirate shirts...those are pretty bizarre.
1. An Awkward Encounter Involving Pirates

She supposed the location wasn't exactly private

She supposed the location wasn't exactly private. Still, she'd thought, when she had left the castle looking for a bit of solitude, that she would be left alone out on the rise overlooking Hagrid's hut.

However, here she was, making a desperate grab at her novel which was currently being held aloft by an infinitely amused looking Draco Malfoy.

It wouldn't have been anything more than a minor annoyance. Nothing she couldn't handle. Except that the particular book he had snatched from her happened to have the words The Pirate and his Wench emblazoned in gold lettering across the front, with the clever caption "He could take her body, but could he take her heart?" (he could, in fact, if you were wondering) doing little to cover the picture of a scantily clad woman being ravaged by a shirtless pirate.

Well, she thought to herself, at least it wasn't a wizarding picture.

"Always have to have your nose in a book, don't you Granger?" he sneered. "What's this muggle trash that you're reading?" He flipped the book open at random and began to read aloud.

"He pushed her up against the bulkhead, her heaving bosoms straining against the thin, damp fabric of her corset."

Good lord. He had to have opened it to this part.

"She could feel his throbbing…" Malfoy trailed off abruptly. A distinctly pink color marring his otherwise flawless complexion. He looked, Hermione realised, quite uncomfortably embarrassed.

Advantage Granger.

"His throbbing what Malfoy? I hadn't quite got to that part yet? Is it his sword?" She asked innocently.

Malfoy made an indistinct noise.

"Oh don't stop now!" said Hermione a little breathlessly, really beginning to enjoy herself. "Does she like it? Does she like having his throbbing sword pressed up against her heaving…"

"For Merlin's sake Granger!" Malfoy finally interrupted, pulling his cloak around himself. No doubt to guard against the stiff breeze. Maybe that was why his face looked quite distinctly blotchy.

He didn't seem to be intending to continue his outburst.

"May I have my book back Malfoy?" She asked, holding her hand out expectantly.

He stepped towards her, snapping the book shut somewhat reluctantly and passing it over. He was looking at her with a rather fixed expression.

"Something in my teeth Malfoy?" she asked cuttingly, "or are you just enjoying the view."

He managed something approaching his trademark smirk.

"In your dreams Granger. You have a leaf on your bosom…I mean chest…I mean heaving…" He had the good sense to shut his mouth before it got any worse.

"My heaving what?" Hermione asked politely.

"Oh sod off Granger!" He shouted, his cheeks blushing an even deeper red. Then, turning on his heel, he marched off with as much dignity as he could muster.

She watched him go with a grin before settling back down to enjoy her novel. Somewhere along the way, however, the pirate captain's hair become silvery blond in her mind, and his eyes a steely grey. By the time she got to the part about the bulkhead and the throbbing member, the captain was distinctly Malfoy-esque.

"Buggering git has ruined the whole book for me now, prancing around shirtless in my head." She grumbled, putting it down in disgust.

She immediately picked it up again and continued.


	2. Pirate Pants

She stood breathlessly before him, her hair blowing wildly in the rough winds, her torn blouse fluttering over her shoulders,

She stood breathlessly before him, her hair blowing wildly in the rough winds, her torn blouse fluttering over her shoulders, her corset pushing her heaving bosoms high on her chest.

"Wh…what are you going to do with me?" she asked him, her voice husky with fear and a little bit of curiosity. She backed away from him, pressing herself into the bulkhead of the ship.

"Whatever I want," he replied seductively, "You're mine now wench. No one will find you this far out at sea, not even your beloved Sir Potter."

"And…and what is it you want?" She asked him, unconsciously running her tongue over her lips, chapped from the salt air.

"You." He said simply, closing the distance between them. With one hand he deftly ripped her blouse from her shoulders, leaving her in only her corset and skirt. "And I will have you!" he cried, pulling her against his chest by her tiny waist.

He leaned into her and fiercely pressed his lips against hers. For a moment she resisted, struggled to preserve her chastity. However she couldn't resist the heat of his lips pressed against her and the hardness of his body. She melted into his embrace, moaning into his mouth.

He tore his mouth away from hers with great effort, "I kidnapped you for ransom miss Granger, but I will take you to my bed for your beauty." His voice was husky and filled with lust.

"Oh yes Captain," she cried, all morals abandoned as she threw herself into his arms.

He swept her off her feet and carried her too his cabin. Throwing her across the bed he fell on top of her, pressing himself into her soft, yielding form…

Draco woke up with a start. The charm alarm beside his bed was telling him, in a rather nagging voice, that he really ought to get up if he wanted time to properly coif his hair before breakfast.

He took a quick look under the covers. He was going to need a few minutes before it would be appropriate for him to get up in front of his dorm mates.

"Bloody Granger and her sodding book." He muttered, flopping back against his pillows and willing himself to stop thinking about heaving bosoms or how good it had felt, in his dream of course, to be pressed up against her.

Instead he concentrated on how good he had looked dressed in leather pants and an open shirt. The sash and sabre had been particularly effective too, he thought. Perhaps, he mused, he ought to go out and buy the outfit. Maybe a corset to anonymously deliver to Granger as well.

He let out an exasperated groan. This was not good.


End file.
